


Chapter 5 - Phone Call Telepathy

by Writer_Lethogica



Series: Invincible Summer [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-05 00:15:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1087316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_Lethogica/pseuds/Writer_Lethogica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester has enough problems to deal with - the gates of heaven closing, angels walking amongst humans, Zeke secretly living inside of Sam, Abaddon gaining power amongst the demons, Crowley under his roof, and Cas alone in the world. Dean doesn't have time for another problem. But he can't just throw her out on the street, especially not in the sorry state she's in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chapter 5 - Phone Call Telepathy

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much tx-spnhunter for beta-ing this chapter! I hope y'all enjoy this next installment! :)

Dean walked into Deanna’s temporary room to find her on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Dean took a deep breath. He didn’t remember having to talk to Ben like this when he was with Lisa.

“I can hear you,” said Deanna, “I’m not deaf.”

Dean walked into the room, not sure if he was ready to help a kid this way. He lay down to Deanna a bit awkwardly, wondering if he was doing this right.

“Talk to me,” Dean said after a long, uncomfortable silence.

Deanna’s eyes were watering with a mixture of disbelief, betrayal, and anger.

“Dean…about two years ago, I was normal—er—maybe not _normal_ , per say, but I was as close to normal as I was going to get.”

Dean could see her deflating, her body becoming more limp and dead.

“I didn’t know about the reality of monsters—of demons, witches, wendigos, what have you. I’ve…I’ve seen people die, people _I love_ just…die.”

Her body began to shake. It was only the faintest movement, but Dean knew the look of a person going undone, even if it is only for a moment. Dean’s hands hovered in the air, unsure whether to give the girl consolation through touch or leave her be.

“I have been living on the streets for about two years. Before I came here, I hadn’t had a drink of water in days. The last thing I ate—moldy bread I found in a _trashcan_. _I ate the moldy part_.”

She closed her eyes for a moment and shivered, as if the day was replaying in her mind.

“I have been chased constantly by monsters who wanted to kill me because of _you_. Half way through my time as a homeless person, Raziel came and Raziel…Raziel was _hope_. Hir was this light in the crapshoot that was my life. I knew…I knew hir couldn’t be _perfect_ , I mean, hir’s the most flat person on sometimes.”

And for a moment, it was as if Deanna forgot her troubles, a smile stretching on her face as she allowed herself to laugh a bit if only for a moment. It disappeared as quickly as it came, though.

“But…I didn’t think hir was _hiding things from me_ , after everything we’ve gone through. I thought hir had more faith in me. I thought hir trusted me as much as I trusted hir.”

Deanna covered her face with her hands, breathing in heavily.

“I just…”

Dean could pick out the moment where her heart broke.

“I just _don’t understand_.”

“Sometimes,” said Dean, faltering for a moment when he thought of his own situation, “Sometimes we can’t say things for a reason, a _good reason_. Sometimes, you can’t control what happens around you and you have to choose the best option out of a group of bad options because there _are no good options_. I don’t like an angel who keeps secrets. They make me twitchy, I _know_ what happens when an angel keeps secrets, and it never ends good, but…but that doesn’t mean you should get angry at hir just yet. Sometimes…the benefit of the doubt is a good thing. Sometimes, allowing them to explain can help you understand whether or not what they’re trying to do is a good or bad thing.”

Dean could feel her gazing at him. He cleared his voice, shifting in his spot.

“Uh—at least, that’s what I think,” said Dean. He glanced at Deanna. She nodded.

“I know Raziel’s good, I just…it hurts that hir doesn’t think I can be someone who hir can trust fully, I guess…I thought hir thought more of me.”

There was a pain in those eyes that Dean understood far too well. It unsettled him that a girl as young as her would feel that way. Dean wasn’t sure what to say. She sighed.

“Sorry for all this gush. I’m not into this sort of thing—all this touchy feely stuff. It sucks like a bucket of ticks and I’m sure you’re tired talking about all this crap,” blabbered Deanna, sitting up. Dean sat up as well, putting his hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, Deanna—listen to me. Your feelings aren’t crap. They mean something. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise,” said Dean. Deanna stared at Dean for a moment, the words registering in her head. She gave him a weak smile.

“Thank you,” said Deanna, trying to stay composed, “I-I think I needed that.”

Dean pulled her into a hug. At first, she froze, stiff to his touch. Then slowly…she relaxed. She slowly hugged him back, clutching him as if he was the only thing keeping her grounded. She was shaking and he could feel the wetness of tears on his shirt. He stayed there until she stopped shaking.

“Sorry, about that—”

“Don’t be,” said Dean, “It’s fine.”

Dean stood up as she rubbed her eyes.

“I have a couple calls to make. Are you okay here on your own?”

Deanna nodded.

“Yeah,” said Deanna, “I’m okay with that.”

Dean nodded. If Dean wasn’t so preoccupied with angel business, he would have been more suspicious about Deanna. He didn’t have time for that, though. He walked out of the room and took out his phone.

He sat in a secluded part of the bunker, just staring at the phone. He hadn’t called Cas on his own since he made hir leave the bunker, not even after their fight with Ephraim. Dean…Dean honestly didn’t want Cas forced back into this life. He didn’t know how to make Cas an angel again and Cas…Cas was human now. Cas deserved better because Cas was the best person Dean knew. Hir didn’t deserve to become a human, fall from grace, but now that hir was, hir deserved to have the best life hir could possibly have, find love, be normal.

Suddenly, the phone started ringing. Dean jumped, dropping the phone. The phone made a loud, clunking echo that made Dean even twitchier, looking around the room to make sure it wasn’t someone walking into his moment of girly contemplation. Then he turned his attention to the ringing phone. He saw “CAS” on the screen. Scrambling to the phone without another thought in his head other than _CAS_ , Dean fumbled about the place, finally picking up the phone.

“H-Hello?” said Dean, trying hard not to sound desperate and worried and failing at it. The other side of the line was silent. Dean knew he deserved this. He screwed Cas’ life up so much already, Dean honestly probably deserved worse.

“C-Cas?” asked Dean, his voice cracking a bit, “C-Cas? Are you there? Are you okay? Is something wrong? Do you want me to come? Do you want me to stay away?”

Dean stopped himself from rambling, listening to the breathing on the other side of the phone.

Finally…a voice came.

“I…I don’t know why I called.”

That voice sounded like the impala driving on a gravel-covered path in heaven, made every single muscle in Dean’s body relax. Dean, feeling exhausted from his earlier panic, sunk into the wall. Cas didn’t sound like hir was in danger. Hir was okay. Cas was out there and called Dean and didn’t call because he was being attacked or knew about a case.

“I just…I felt like I should call…so I called…”

There was a long pause, Dean just happy to hear Cas’ voice once more.

“W-well,” said Dean in a very controlled nervous excitement, “Hello to you, too, Cas.”

“Yes, sorry, hello, Dean…Hello, Dean,” Cas said, and the echo of the words just reminded Dean of all the times Cas had snuck up on him. If Dean closed his eyes, he could just feel Cas’ presence there, Cas breathing on his neck before he turned to see hir there, behind him and gazing with those piercing eyes of hir. Dean kept wanting turn around and see Cas right there behind him, but…he knew that was not possible any longer. All that was behind dean was the cold wall of the bunker.

“Dean?” Cas called as if it was the third or fourth time hir said it, “Dean, am I doing something wrong, Dean? The reason for a phone call is to talk, right? It is calming to hear your breathing once more, I feel like I could fall asleep just listening to it, but my people skills are still rusty and I hope I’m not offending you.”

Cas sounded worried and confused, but soothing when hir talked about Dean’s breathing. Dean needed to do something about the worry and confusion.

“You’re not doing anything wrong Cas,” said Dean quickly, trying to stomp out that thought, “I’m the one being an idiot. You wanted to have a normal phone call, right? Well, how you doin’?”

“I’m…I’m doing fine. I’m still a sales associate. I’m living and I’m learning, day after day. Being a human is really a…humbling experience to say the least, but with the bad comes good things I never imagined before,” said Cas.

“Like sex?” said Dean, kicking himself for not filtering himself sometimes around Cas.

“Like sex.”

There was a matter-of-fact way to Cas’ replied that made Dean feel just a bit more worse about his situation with Cas, if that was possible. Was he ruining Cas? It was all his fault that the little nerdy dude wasn’t part of the angel squad anymore. Dean started this descent. And sex…well, Dean didn’t have time to think about that. He was still extremely confused about how…well…love…he didn’t want to harp on the subject for too long.

“I have heard men lie casually about their sex lives and exaggerate to great extents while talking to one another. Shall we do that?” asked Cas. Dean began to choke on his own spit, knowing he shouldn’t be surprised by anything Cas ever said. Dean shook his head, even though he knew Cas couldn’t see him.

“No, no, God, Cas,” said Dean, caught off guard, “We should talk about real things. Like, have you been eating well? I hate saying this, man, but you got to have a healthy balance to live a good human life. It’s not all pies, burgers, and burritos. It’s gross, but sometimes the rabbit food Sam eats is something that must be eaten.”

“Sam eats rabbit food?”

Dean could just see Cas tilting hir head.

“No, Cas, I mean salads. And fruit. Vegetables, stuff like that.”

There was a pause, a horrifying pause.

“Oh…okay. I will take note of that…and what about you, Dean? Are you eating well?”

Dean smiled.

“I’m eating as well as I usually do, Cas,” said Dean.

“By your standards, you should be eating healthier as well,” Cas pointed out in a bit of a worried fashion. Dean couldn’t help but laugh a bit. He knew Cas was right.

“I will, I promise,” said Dean.

“I feel like there is something you want to ask me,” said Cas, “Is there?”

It was horrible. Even without hir angel mojo, even miles away, Cas was still the person who knew Dean the best.

“There is something,” said Dean, gulping.

“You can tell me, Dean,” said Cas softly, “You can always tell me anything.”

Dean felt like the worst person in the world when he smiled. There was so much Dean should have told Cas a long time ago. He should have told Cas about what Crowley told them at the bunker. He should have told Cas about Zeke and why he _really_ sent his angel away. But it wasn’t time for that. One thing at a time, and Dean didn’t want to tell Cas any of those things over the phone.

“I…I don’t want to bring you into danger again, you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” said Dean.

“I’d follow you anywhere, Dean.”

Dean’s heart was breaking. He could feel something bigger than him in Cas’ words, and it killed Dean that Cas had so much faith in him. Some righteous man Dean was.

“You shouldn’t say things like that.”

“That’s how I feel, though.”

Cas sounded so certain about it, so sure. Dean couldn’t take it.

“You shouldn’t have so much faith in me, I’m not a great guy,” said Dean weakly, his voice breaking at the end.

“Dean…you are a better man than you’ll ever understand. Now, stop avoiding the subject and tell me what’s going on.”

Dean laughed. When Cas spoke so strongly, it was hard to say no to the guy. Dean began to explain his situation.


End file.
